Yes, this kid is freaking out because his MOM cancelled his World of Warcraft Account.

Ok, so maybe in EMS we've learned not to sweat the small stuff. Maybe I'm cynical and don't think that this is a big enough deal for a suburban teenager to freak out about. Maybe I don't thrash around in my well-apportioned, freshly-cleaned-by-mom room in such a manner that I don't knock over the lighthouse when, oh I don't know, someone dies in front of me or something like that.

I hate overly emotional people. I hate drama kings, queens, and vice versa. FTLOG people!

With youth like this, EMS will always have work. Did you see him hitting himself with a SHOE and punching... the MATTRESS because he was mad? Yea, that's tough.

The Drunk Crackhead - Part 2

Let me tell you the rest of the crack story.

We are at the jail with our patient. He is getting fingerprinted from our cot. There is a small holding cell in the room where he is being printed. In this cell is a drunk. There are 2 officers trying to get the drunks property (wallet, keys, money) into a property bag. The property bag is about 8 inches by 8 inches, and seals like a zip-lock bag. The drunk refuses to give them his property until they let him go to the bathroom. The officer tell him that they will let him go to the bathroom after he has turned over his property. The drunk still refuses and says he is going to piss on them. The officers are kind of distracted at this time because we are telling them the story of the stolen crack. So the drunk finally agrees to put his stuff in the property bag. The officers hand him the bag through the bars. But the drunk does not put his property in the bag. Instead he decides to urinate in the bag.The drunk is now laughing. He then hands the sealed bag, 1/2 full with urine to the officers. That makes the officers very upset. So, one officer goes into the cell and "removes" his property. When he comes out of the cell, he starts to hand the other officer the drunks property. The other officer opens up the property bag 1/2 filled with urine and places the drunks wallet, money and keys in the bag to soak. Needless to say the drunk was not laughing anymore. Then they filed the property and boxed it up. When the drunk gets released from jail, he will have a well marinated wallet. So I guess the cops got the last laugh. JS

See more from JS at http://fatfireman.blogspot.com

He stole my crack! - Part 1

We get dispatched to an unknown medical involving PD in an urban area.

We pull up on scene to see the local police department laughing at a guy laying in the middle of the street, pulling himself around on the pavement by his arms. He is laying next to a beat up, old mini van with the drivers door open. My partner and I are a little confused. So we ask "whats going on?". That is when we are told this story.

The cops said that the man on the ground and his son had come over to this block to steal some crack from a dealer. The man on the ground is a paraplegic. He sent his son into the house to steal the crack while he waited in the drivers seat of the van. The crack dealer caught the son trying to steal the crack. The dealer was so strung out that she called the cops. The son then ran back to the van. As the van was pulling off the cops showed up and surrounded it. So the son jumps out and tries to run on foot. The father is high and also thinks this is a good idea. So he opens the door of the van, and jumps onto the pavement. Somehow he forgot that he was unable to walk and required a wheelchair. So he tried to make his escape by dragging himself by is arms, and that's when we showed up

By now my partner and I are laughing our asses off. So we ask, "what do you need us for?". They ask us to check out the man laying in the road and make sure he is ok. They also wanted to know if we could transport him to jail as it would be hard for them to do it with a police car. So we said ok. Then we took him to jail. Every time I think about this it makes me laugh. Hope you find it as funny as we did. JS

This and other stories posted at http://fatfireman.blogspot.com

Dude, Where's our rig?

So we pull up at the hospital with a priority 3 patient. This is a major urban hospital. I'm the attending tech on this run. So I am in the back of the ambulance with the patient. My partner shuts the truck off and comes to the back of the rig and opens the doors. We enter the hospital and proceed to the triage area. As we are getting our patient registered a medic from another agency comes in and says "some guy just stole your rig!". We said "what?". And then he repeated himself. So my partner ran out to see, and sure as shit our ambulance was gone. We transferred care of our patient, then called our dispatch. Let me tell you, that is not a call you want to make. So dispatch sent another crew to come pick us up and take us back to the base to get another rig. While we are waiting for the other crew, we had to go the the police detail in the hospital to make a report. It took us a while to convince the cops that this was not a joke. Really, who steals an ambulance? So we make the report and get laughed at. The other crew picks us up and can't stop poking fun at us. Just as we get back to the base dispatch calls and says the police recovered our rig. So now the other crew takes us to the police station to reclaim our rig. All our stuff was gone and the truck was trashed.

As it turns out my regular partner had the night off and I was working with a brand new EMT, it was like his second road shift. He didn't think to take the keys with him when he got out of the truck. And really who steals an ambulance? I'll tell you who. A patient who was just released from the ER! The ER staff refused to give him a cab voucher, so he decided stealing an ambulance was the next best thing. That's life in the big city. JS

Also posted at http://fatfireman.blogspot.com